Overdrawn

A wise friend once referred to a metaphorical "love bank" when chatting with me about some challenges she was facing in her life. The concept works the same as a typical bank account, where you have deposits and withdrawals, and you obviously work really hard to keep balance between the two so you don't end up in the red. My recent thoughts and struggles haven't directly been related to my love transactions (don't worry Jason – this isn't about us!). I'm going to replace the word "love" with "joy" here. This rant is more about how we so often end up becoming overdrawn in our joy bank.

Withdrawals can be made by you in an attempt to bring you joy, but withdrawals more often happen as a result of something outside of your control, causing you to become overdrawn.

Here's my current joy bank statement: • Cranky pre-teen full of attitude = Withdrawal • Cracked rim on your new car = Withdrawal • Migraine headache for 2 days killing your weekend = Withdrawal • Issues at work = Withdrawal • A mountain of laundry waiting to be done = Withdrawal • My sweet husband and his chivalry = Deposit • Improvements to my house = Deposit • Improvement$ to my house = Withdrawal • Not enough time in the day to squeeze everything in = Withdrawal

And just like that, my joy bank is overdrawn. The First National Bank of Happiness has put a freeze on my account. These withdrawals, the very things that take away my spirit, energy, and passion, have now affected my ability to add joy back into my account. The account is at risk of being closed. The weight of these situations will sit heavy on your mind and body and impact everything you do. Can you relate? Have you, too, become overdrawn in your life? So… How do you change or rearrange things enough to convince the First National Bank of Happiness to unfreeze your account and allow the deposits to start flowing through again, dragging you out of the joy void? If you know, please tell me all your banking secrets!

Meanwhile, in my self-reflection phase, I'm going to try and change the narrative here... break some patterns of complacency and laziness... put my big girl pants on and stop allowing the things I CAN control to make unauthorized withdrawals. Some of these steps have already been implemented and have proven to be effective, but here's my phase 1 plan of generating wealth in the form of joy and happiness:

• Hire a cleaning lady (DONE)

• Focus more on self-care for mind and body. (Work in progress) Getting regular spa treatments like the amazing HydraFacialMD are extremely relaxing and can also help a bit with your skin that now has more wrinkles than a 50-year old chain-smoking construction worker. Now I just need to find time to connect with my amazing massage therapist (let me know if you want her contact info – she's the BEST!) and to utilize my membership at The Joint that I'm paying for and not using.

• Remind myself daily that if my value and expertise are not recognized by a person or a place, THEY DON'T DESERVE ME! (Work in progress)

• Find new ways to connect with the pre-teen monster and tame the beast. This is a tough one, but I have confidence. After all, I think I came out of my hateful little bitch phase OK. Or did I?

• Commit to at least one load from Mt. Laundry daily.

• Finally finish my list of new places to eat and things to try for date night and quality time with Jas. AND commit the time to follow through.

• Try new things. Learn new things. Experience new things.

• Exercise. (Right, Lyndsay… who are you kidding here?”)

• MAKE TIME FOR ME & MY FAMILY.

That's all for today. Looks like I have a lot of work to do!